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Monday, August 22, 2011

I Miss My Maid



We live the life of nomads. As a result our home is only a transition point during the months of June, July and August to dump our things, repack and leave again. We have been everywhere this summer. New Mexico, Austin, Alabama, etc. Our most recent trip we went to Gulf Shores, Alabama and it was wonderful!!



And yes we took a family beach picture. Expect a Christmas card with this gem of a pic on it. 
What did we do while we were there you ask? Oh so much but certainly not enough. But that is not why I am here today. I will discuss our two weeks of vacation later this week. Why I am at my computer today on a lovely Sunday afternoon after a wonderful fajita meal at a local mexican restaurant, watching the Three Amigos dreading next Sunday when Sunday afternoon football starts and hearing my husband snore in the other room is because I need to make a confession. A confession that should only be made on TLC during an episode of some cleaning/style reality show.

I have the DIRTIEST house in America. I am embarrassed. This is not the way my mother raised me. 

Neicy Nash about arose from my closet to slap me silly on the sheer disgustingness of my house. I have spent most of my weekend playing the role of Cinderella cleaning this dump of a home. 


We had stuff piled up everywhere, closet doors were unable to shut, we had friendly unwanted animals living with us in our nook and cranies of our home. It was sad. I am not a clean freak by any means but when my house gets disorderly and nasty, my life gets disorderly and nasty. My sweet husband, on Friday, changed the sheets on the bed, MADE the bed, put his clothes away and cleaned the kitchen. Isn't he just special? Yes, he is. So I came home on Friday I figured I needed to get with it and begin. So I did. I started in the office and worked my way across the house. I have a compulsion where my cleaning must be orderly. ie - from one side of the house to the other, laundry first, pick up all things then clean surfaces. I did not get very far because I spent most of Friday evening in the office. The closet, where I keep my crafts, and my desk, where I pile school stuff were insane. I couldn't even see my desk or shut the doors of the closet. I found lots of things though. Like... the top of my desk, I found that. Then I found Will's camp binocs as the real hunters call them. That is short for binoculars if any of you city folk are not familiar with the lingo. I found some yarn and a knitting book (another one of those crafts I impulsively bought at Hobby Lobby and then never finished) and lots and lots of scrap book paper. It was a good cleaning but it took forever. When I finished I headed out to run a couple of errands and grab some dinner at Rudy's. It has been so long since we have...I have had....barbeque in this house it was seeming a little odd. It's usually a staple...like flour, butter and ozarka water. 

As a side note this thought crossed my mind while in the drive through at Rudy's. Can you order a bottle of beer through the drive through? It would be a closed container. Someone try it and let me know. Just for grins. 

So on Saturday I wake up bright and early at 12. Ok I woke up at like 9 but didn't get moving until 12. Finally I am forced out of bed by the sheer disgustingness of my bedroom and begin cleaning. Here is just a small bit of what greeted me. 


Yes, That is our sink. And no the disgusting part is not the brass faucet and the 1980's shell shape. EMBARASSING!

And this is our tub. You may have confused it for a college boy's tub. It is not.
It is the tub I bathe in almost daily. Check out that ring. It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

The dust rag from JUST my bedroom. 
A bag from under the bed. 
A small story about this little friend I found behind my toiletry box. For weeks we have been standing in our bathroom brushing our teeth wondering how in the world these sneaky cob webs are designing themselves around our light bulbs. I found the culprit. Again...embarassing. I am living with a soap scum bath tub and a spider.


I will not even begin to speak of our toilet. Lets just say our toilet seats were "wooden." So everytime you did your thing there was a serious threat of getting a HUGE splinter or plank in your "area." Friday I got NEW toilet seats! WHOOOOO! I never thought I would be so excited about new toilet seats but I so was! 

But after many many hours of cleaning with my Mr. Clean Magic eraser...my bathroom looked like Mary Poppins had arrived once again to my house. 









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