Monday, September 3, 2012

preacher vs. coach

I have recently inherited the job description and title of a "preacher's wife." It is a whole new life in the lime light of leading the salvation of others. I have been forced to do things like attend church regularly, be on time for church, attend all funerals, wedding, birthday parties, anniversary parties, showers, etc. that a good woman attends and learn to buy items  cook items that may have to be served at a moments notice at a potluck. The other day Will and I had a discussion in the car. "What would you rather be...a preacher's wife or a coach's wife?" I promptly with out hesitations declared "a coach's wife." Then we began to compare the two jobs. I can only speak from fact on the side of the preacher's wife and from fantasy through Tammy Taylor on Friday Night Lights.


1. A coach's wife can wear fun bedazzled jerseys, big jewelry, heels, designer jeans and her newly highlighted and done up layered hairdo at the game. A preacher's wife must wear a sensibly modest outfit, hose and a hat to church on Sunday. 

2. A coach's wife can have out door bbq's for the team at her house. A preacher's wife must make pea salad and a jello mold for the pot luck on Sunday. 

3. For a coach's wife, Friday is game day, followed by a late night ice cream run with your kids and family friends and Sunday is family sleep in day. For a preacher's wife, Friday is going to the football games with church people to see the church kiddos play the game and Sunday is game day....all day. With no ice cream. 

4. A similarity: Saturday is film day for coach. Saturday is sermon working day for preacher. . 

5. A coach's wife can talk to friends while her husband is on the field. A preacher's wife can't talk to her friends while her husband is on the field. Texting is allowed only for the skilled. 

6. A coach's wife must be familiar with the game of football. A preacher's wife must recite scriptures in daily conversation. 

7. A coach's wife: Two words...HOMECOMING MUMS!!! A preacher's wife: easter corsages. 

8. A coach's wife needs to know all the plays in the book. A preacher's wife: all the recipes in the church cookbook. 

9. Half time verses no half time.

10. Both must be prepared to feed the five thousand with only sandwich meat and doritos on a moment's notice. 

11. Both can turn the water into wine koolaid. 

12. A coach's wife gets a mom suburban with the cool high school paw on the back. A preacher's wife gets a mini van with the christian fish on the back. 

13. A coach's wife has to give up Thanksgiving. A preacher's wife, Christmas and Easter. Sometimes New Years Eve. 

14. Both: The super bowl is a mandatory party in which you must cook for and/or host. 

15. A coach's wife needs to go to booster meetings. A preacher's wife: all baby and wedding showers, if you do not host them your self. 

16. A coach's wife can dress up her kids in cute football player and cheerleader outfits to take them to the games. If a preacher's wife dressed her children up in bible times costumes, she may be looked down upon for embarassing her children. Unless it is VBS in which the entire family will be sporting the sheet and rope outfit for an entire week during the summer.