Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Beautiful Nail

...just one.

I went to Gorgeous Nails yesterday to get my nails done. Every time I go I am reminded of Anjelah Johnson and her experience. Youtube it. My experience yesterday was nothing less than expected.

There are no cliff notes version of this trip. Hang with me. I will begin.

Tuesdays are my day off. I work from 8-9:30 and have the rest of the day to clean my house and myself. Yesterday Will was out of town so I had the whole day to myself. I called him on my way home and he said, "Why don't you do something relaxing and fun today."

"Like what? What can I do that does not cost money." You see, after taxes we are below poverty line at the moment.

"I don't know but go have fun."

I contemplated this on my drive home. What should I do? Shower? possibly. Paint? hmmm. Eat? duh. Chelsea Lately? good idea. I got home and cleaned my kitchen. As a side note...I'm pretty sure that is all I did yesterday. I will give more deets next post. I rewashed my clothes that had been sitting in the washer for approx two days. I decided I would go work out and then shower. WAAA? Yes. I said it. I had apparently been researching how it felt to be a pilgrim in Virginia when baths were not a very frequent option. I won't say details for fear of embarrassment. Let's just say I was starting to disgust myself. I looked like I was back in college during Interior Design finals week. And I was off. I enjoyed an ok work out and thought...wouldn't it be nice to go get my nails done? Thus began the inner battle. Should I? Am I ready for that commitment? Can I afford it? Yes you can afford it dumb dumb. You have a job! But is it what I should be spending my money on? Are they still in fashion? Are they out of fashion? Do only high schoolers and prom dates have them? Should I google it?

So I drove to Irving had a delicious Chipotle lunch with my dad and watched Hanson on Dancing with the Stars. I miss them. And yes, they sang MMMBop. All while STILL contemplating a solar set of nails. I am going to do it. I am going to bite the bullet and just do it. So I did and this is how my visit went.

"Hi welcome to Gorgeous Nails. How may I help you?"
"Can I get a solar set?"
"Yes. We have. That be 35 dolla. You want now?"
"Uh, Yes now would be great."
"Ok, sit down."

I did. A new lady did my nails. I did not recognize her nor knew her name. Lets call her Tess. I think that is a good name for this lady.

"You ever have solar set?"
"You no work today?"
"No. I'm off on Tuesdays. Its nice."
"You keep long or short?"
"As short as you can."

This was a tough one for her to grasp. She did NOT want to make them as short as I wanted. After our chat I sunk into the "getting your nails did" trance and focused on the daytime game shows that were on the TV. After Lets Make A Deal was over Dr. Phil came on. It caught my eye. The preview had this lady spending money, receipts, credit cards, etc. What is this?

Financial Infidelity.  Yep. Here I have been contemplating alllll morning about whether or not it was an ok financial decision to spend money to get my nails done when there was no other reason besides just me wanting to and Dr. Phil is discussing financial infidelity. Ok. got it. Thanks. Apparently I was  listening so hard and concentrating on the guilt trip Phil was sending me on that Tess thought I was falling asleep.

"Almost done."
"You look like you are falling asleep. We are almost done."
"Oh no, just concentrating on Dr. Phil."

I looked at my nails.

"Too long?"
"Yeah, if I could get them a little shorter."
"ooook." As if I was asking her to paint a hideous design on them. "This ok?"
"A little shorter. I like them short."
"ooook." pause "Do you tape a lot?"
"Do you tapp alot?"
"Oh Type. Yes I type. I'm also a teacher so I use my hands alot."
"Oh yes. A teacher, so you definitely need them short." uh ya.   At this point I'm contemplating this statement. Is there a difference between hooker nails and teacher nails. And if so, what is it. What constitutes teacher nails? Is it a nail I can match with my appliqued denim disney jumper and matching character socks? And in what profession should you have long nails? Did I look like I had a profession that excused excessively long fake nails?
"What do you teach?"
"High school?"
"WHAAA? But you look so young!!"
Oh no. Here it comes.
"Oh wow!! You so young. You look so baby face!"
"Yeah, I know. I get that alot."
"Do high school boys fall in love with you?!"
uh come again? At this time Tess is laughing as well as Lisa on the other side and the girl who is getting a manicure next to me. Awesome.
"uh I hope not!"
She then tells me that in her high school when she was growing up she had a very attractive male teacher that all the girls swooned over. Tess actually imitated high school girls swooning. It was fun. But it was a time of war in her country so he had to become a soldier.  So all the girls cry.

There was a lull in the conversation and I went back to watching Dr. Phil. After I was all done, I washed my hands and came back to get my purse.

"Any thing else? Eyebrow?" I guess she had seen my eyebrows. I accepted. My eyebrows had gone past the fashionable Brook Shields eyebrow and on to an indescribable mess on my forehead. She got one close look and said, "Woooa."

"yeah I know. It has been a while. I don't even remember the last time." I think it may have been in October.

"Oh don't worry. We make you look good at the end of it!" Thanks Tess! And that is exactly how I felt when I left. Only, I still hadn't showered. I have very small eyebrow not but they ARE TRIMMED! I'm pretty sure I was back there in the waxing chair chatting with Tess for 10-15 minutes.  We had a good chat and got to know each other. She even sang up a made up song. I will see you again in 2-3 weeks for a refill on my nails girlfriend!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

With a spoon full of Sugar

Carrie Bradshaw used to live in this house. 
And then Ted Nugent moved in. 

Marriage is about compromise. Yes. Compromise. Whoever made that up did not have a stuffed deer staring at the back of their head while they worked on the computer. 

Ignore the lack of make up. This was after a long day of watching the 16 and Pregnant marathon on MTV. And ignore the embarrassment of trash on the ground. Um, just don't look too closely. Its Easter, which means LTC, which means our house is messy with drama/puppet/everything props.  
My friend Christin and her boy Tony came to visit on Sunday. I have been warning Christin of this happening over texts and pictures that this was transpiring in my lovely office room. *Christin, she's the one that gave Will the family frame for his birthday with our "family" picture in it. So mi casa es su casa. Will was not here for her to tell her opinion to, so she put it in writing. He didn't appreciate it. 

But don't worry. Mary Poppins now lives here and fixed it right up. 

Ok, so as I write this I'm getting a guilt trip because I sound like a nagging wife. Well? But really in all reality I guess its either the deer or a baby. "I'll take the deer for 300 Alex!" But in real real honesty, you got to love the guy. We all dreamed in high school of our ideal man. Mine was always the big, beer drinking, gun toting, deer shooting, fish catching, truck driving, boots and jeans kind of man. Ironically very different from the guys I dated. Funny how things happen. Guess I got what I dreamed of and more. You have to enjoy and laugh about those differences you were so blind to before you started a joint bank account and spit your toothpaste in the same sink. But I'm happy with my Ted Nugent and he's happy with his Carrie Bradshaw. If he wasn't a manly man, he wouldn't be the guy I married. 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Rain Drops and Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.

My 1st period class has inspired me. They spontaneously bust out in song. Its like a real life version of glee. Except sometimes I feel like Sue Sylvester and not Mr. Shewster. And there are no Finns and only Rachels. Tuesday is was Beauty and the Beast, Friday....Sound of Music.

A few things that have happened since last time.
1. Deadliest Catch is back on TV.  That means I go to bed earlier and Will stays up and watches it.
2. Get Over It was on free HBO this weekend. I love me some Martin Short.
3. I retired Will's holy jeans! I got to do the honors and throw them away.

4. I buy gummy snacks when I go to the store. I have ventured out of my scooby doo phase and have tried Nemo, Bugs, Cars and my favorite...Disney Princess. However, my husband apparently likes them too. I keep finding princess wrappers around the couch. 
Exhibit A
As an adendum to the last post: Things I am learning in marriage...
I now know why my mom always whined and cried..."If you do not pick up these wrappers I am not buying any more candy!" around every holiday that involved specialty treats. I actually found myself saying, "I will not buy princess snacks any more if you keep leaving your wrappers around on the floor!" This was not directed at my three year old daughter but at my 27 year old husband.

5. Today I am proud to say that I made a meal. Yes. I put on my big girl panties and reintroduced myself to the kitchen. "Hi Kitchen. It's me Kelsie. The one who always cries in your presence." I tackled that son of a gun and made a delicious meal.

Exhibit B
And to sign off...a picture of our child. 
Yes, that is our dog. Holding her self up watching Will leave for work in the morning. 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Love and Marriage

goes together like a horse and carriage.

I have had a very contemplative week. But it really hit me yesterday as I sat folding laundry and I had to pry a dryer sheet off of a pair of shorts, all the things I/We have learned in our approximate 1 and 1/2 year of marriage. My good friend Kaylie is getting married at the end of May and her shower is this weekend. I work with her mom so we've been talking about it alot. I guess her mom and the dryer sheet kicked me over the contemplative edge. So Kaylie and's to you. A few things I have learned:

 - Your bedroom will never be clean for long again. Not only are you inhabiting it but so is a boy. Drawers will not be shut, hangers will be on the ground, doors to closets will be left open. I just have to get over it. There will be double the clothes and double the shoes.

 - There will always be articles of clothing the other partner does not like. Eventually you will have to grow up and get rid of your high school/college wear. Example:

- I hate dryer sheets. They serve no purpose and only lead to more trash that I have to pick up from under the couch. 

- Decor of grandeur, chic and fashion will be traded in for trophies of this kind. 

- I now understand why my mother always complained about wanting to have a laundry room. I wish I had one. A place to put laundry while folding instead of on the couch. I dream of laundry room designs. 

- It is expensive to be an adult. Insurance (house, medical, car, dog, computer, toes, furniture, teeth, elbows, grass) and bills. 

- Go ahead and splurge on the things you want. You will never again have this freedom with money. Go ahead and stay at that expensive hotel or eat at that snazzy restaurant. 

- Take in each moment of your aromatic showers. Breathe in the bath and body works, feel the bubbles on your soft skin. These may be interrupted at any moment by your husband and a toilet flush. 

- You immediately take place of your husband's roommate's duty. This means going shooting on a Saturday morning, the receiver of all practical jokes, cheerleader for Madden Xbox, and most of all the "hey come see this" checker when he gets off the toilet giggling. 

- Home improvement jobs are a whole lot funner together. 

- Grocery shopping is a highlight of the week when done together. Although, not everyone grocery shops the same way. Some make one huge run, some go on an as needed basis. 

- When you say I do the old woman comes out and replaces the young hip girl. You will go to bed at 9:00 and find that when out past 8 at night you become panicky because you are not in your pajamas laying on the couch. There becomes an inability to stay out late. 

- It is now ok to go shopping alone. It is actually therapeutic. 

- The house feels empty when the other one is not there. 

- Playing footsies in bed helps me relax and fall asleep...also solitaire on my phone. 

- The minute you get off your plane from your honeymoon, you will wish you were back there. You will always make references to "I wish we were back in _______" "Remember when we went to _______" 


- Things like this are realllly funny. 

- You will buy a dog to satisfy your baby fever. Your camera will be full of dog pictures doing funny things, in funny poses. Example: 

- Road trips are a great way to be alone when life is stressing you out. 

- Revisiting college and where you met is always refreshing to a stale relationship. 

- The TV remote is yours no more. 

- Friends are important. Keep them close. 

The dogs of each family are missing. Left to Right: Toby, Dixie, Copper, Abby
How precious. I hope they all go to college together and are life long friends. 

- Some days I feel like this and some days I don't. 

- Paychecks are never as big as they were when you were single. 

- The house does not clean itself. Mom won't clean it either. 

- Bathtubs and bathrooms get a lot dirtier a lot faster. 

- I can't cook. I cry when I cook. 

- You both say dumb things. Giggle about it then blow it off. 

- Husbands have this thing about spending all your free time at your parents house. And moms have this thing about not always paying for your meals. 

- I learned a lot about football and Will learned a lot about Chelsea Handler. 

- Playing hookie at work on a cold rainy day is an excellent way to spend a Tuesday. Get a season of Friday Night Lights and a blanket. You got it made. 

- You will be asked "When you having babies" You will respond "As soon as yours get out of the youth group."

- Real Marriage is different than the fantasy of college idea of marriage. Better. 

That's all I got. I leave you with this. 
I can GUARANTEE you that is exactly what I will be doing. Thanks for the suggestion.