So Much For My Happy Ending

I have once again failed miserably at baking. This time, it didn't even involve a microwave or an oven. At work sometimes against the wishes of my boss, on slow days, I scour the Internet for interesting blogs. I have a few I visit regularly as seen on the right side panel of my blog layout. Mostly all these just inspire me to be a craftier more bohemian house wife. Most of blogs are craft and cooking blogs. You know the type of blog that is in fad now. Where these housewives and mothers of toddlers in adorable tutus and home made shirts and bowties find these recipes and post their experiences with them. They start out with a tantalizing picture of a delicious dessert. They catch your eye and then document their baking by taking pictures along the way from gathering the ingredients to the finished product. This is almost always followed by their adorable child in a monogrammed bib stuffing their toothless chubby face into the desert after their meal of homemade Macaroni and beanie weanies. The recipe of which came from their cyber friend's creative blog on how to get your j. Crew toddler to eat healthy.


With that being said, I am obsessed with these blogs. It is like a train wreck or a fight in the hallway at school. I know only bad things can result from looking at them but I just want more! Today at school I was looking at smashed peas and carrots and found a delicious pie. It is called a Banofee. From what I gathered it is an english dessert. This pie has graham crackers, bananas, dulce de leche (eagle brand), whip cream and chocolate. Sounds good right? Yeah if you are a master chef and can make things like this. So I saw this recipe and thought "how amazing does this sound." On my way home from work, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner (don't worry, it was chicken broth and the soup mix was in a plastic bag). While at the story and seeing the lovely bananas, I decided to make Will a dessert for all of his hard work this week with the church garage sale. WHY!?!?!? Why do I always think these things can turn out good??? So I buy all of the ingredients and come home. Oh wait! What did you say Will? We are going up to the activity center and I will need to cook there? Ok, I can do this. I will redeem my cooking reputation. Afterall, this recipe does not include an oven. So after I cook boil dinner. I start in on the pie. I put in the eagle brand to boil, I cut the bananas, I mash the graham crackers, I follow the recipe to the best of my ability. Two hours later the pie is done. Apparently I did not wait long enough for my pie to cool because my whip cream has melted, my crust is chunky because I did not mash it enough, and the pie is more like soup. It did everything BUT set up properly. It was banana and eagle brand soup. Moral of the story.... I should have gone with the banana pudding. So I ate some of it, I think if I didn't have the patience of a small dog then it would have turned out a little better. But I felt sick after I ate it. I'm not sure if it was the food or the severe let down of yet another cooking failure. Maybe some unsuspecting victim will eat it today at the garage sale.

When we got home after the garage sale, I plop into bed and Will climbs in next to me. I gaze into his eyes and say pitifully, "I am sorry that I am not going to be a good housewife and that our children will be embarassed by my cooking." To be honest I really want and would love to be one of those cool moms. One of those moms that sews clothes for their kiddos and is always baking and cooking something new for their family to try. When the kids get older, they bring friends home and I always have home made cookies and milk waiting for them. I would enjoy being the stay at home mom that makes fun lunches, bakes deserts with her kids and makes dinner for dad while he is playing with his children in the back yard. I came to a realization today. As much as I try to perfect this inability before I become a mom, I will not be the blogging crafty mom but I will be the mom on the Totino's Pizza roll commercial that pulls out microwaved processed foods for her kids to eat when they come rollerblading home from school with their pack of friends. So after I sincerely apologize for my shortcomings Will lovingly said, "yeah, when we have kids and I come home from work they are going to stare at me and say Dad, we need cookies for our class tomorrow. And you will pipe up, hey why didnt you ask me? and they will reply something to the effect of because we didn't want charcoal. and then he sweetly said, "I knew it before I married you. We will work on it. We will work on it together. I'll teach you my ways grasshopper." kissed me on the forehead tucked me into bed. Ok, I added the grasshopper part.