Kids...

Line of the day yesterday:

The Situation: This week I have been teaching my students how to build. We have been building two full size diner booths for our musical. Which by the way is Happy Days and you should come see it if you are in town. So yesterday I am on top of the booth and I am screwing in a screw with the drill. I drill the first bit that makes the whole and pull it out of the wood. Apparently it was still rotating and I swung it to my side to put down on the bench. But in the path stood my pants. My pants that were on my person. As soon as that spinning bit hit my pants, it immediately attacked my pants. I screamed. The kids screamed. I looked down and my pants are completely wrapped around the bit of this drill. So I first, calm the children. I reassure them that everything is all right. I assess my situation. Blood? No. Pain? No. Leg still attached? Yes. So I unroll the drill bit out of my pants and discover what it left me with.

This:

After my horrific incident my students were pretty shaken up. They kept asking if I was ok and what not. I, as the good teacher I am, reassured them that things were fine and that I was glad it was me and not them.

Conversation:

Student: Mrs. Morris, are you ok? Are your pants ok?
Me: I'm fine. I guess it will give me an excuse to buy a new pair of sweat pants. I'm pretty sure that I've had these since freshman year of high school. Come to think of it...I think I've had these pants and these shoes since high school.
Student: (in all seriousness) They had converse back then?!?!
Me: How old do you think I am?

1. Will gave me the "and that's why you don't wear baggy sweatpants while using powertools" chat when I got home. What is the proper attire for working with power tools?
2. I should really throw those shoes away. They've built one too many sets in their day. Looking at them, I'm kind of embarrassed that I still own a pair....two pair...

It was a difficult day in the world of theater class. But we built an awesome booth! Will is hunting so I have lots of time to blog. Expect pics tomorrow!

T-minus 2 days until opening weekend

The time is nearing and the husband is getting giddy. Yes. It is November which means that the Opening of Deer season is within reach. Within hours I-20 will be full of trailers, trucks and rifles. Yesterday I learned that our very own Governor Perry announced that November is Hunter Appreciation Month. I feel like he did not consult his wife on that one. She would have said otherwise. I feel like maybe it should be Hunter's Wife Appreciation, but that is my own soap box.

But with hunting comes really nice dates that make up for the weekends away. Last weekend was our family retreat at church. We headed out to Glen Rose again. This year (just like last year) we decided to go down a day early and just have a nice "us" night. We ate at The Loft in Granbury again and it was even more delicious than last year. We had an amazing beer cheese dip with delicious garlic sourdough bread that I am still tasting in my mouth (and feeling in my hips).

But soo worth it. It was a nice night just to be us, not talk about work/church and have a nice dinner away. We ended the night with what every couple does...going to wal-mart to buy food for the retreat, going back to the retreat center, and going to bed.

But the retreat was fun! I did find a cute boutique while I was in town getting BBQ for dinner. I found this 22 dollar coozie. I feel like this sums up my life. I had no desire to spend 22 dollars on it, so I took a picture.

On the other hand, the retreat was a raging success! Will did a great job!

Well, I'm off to prepare myself for opening weekend. I am now a hunting widow from this Thursday til whenever he decides to come home. There will be a whole lot of craft making going on up in this joint.

Columbus Sailed the Ocean Blue

Busy life has begun. Here I sit in a prop rocking chair rocking my stress away on the stage at work before rehearsal starts. I figured I needed to get my creative funny juices moving, therefore, I have a story to tell.

Once upon a time there was a day called Columbus Day. This is a lovely holiday for teachers because they receive the day off: the day off to do whatever they want to do. Usually getting caught up on work. This particular Columbus day, I had talked Will in to staying home from hunting. We both lazily woke up...ok I lazily woke up on that Monday morning. We discussed what we would do for the day. What should we do? I suggested bike riding in Las Colinas. There is a great trail out there and I felt like doing something active on such a beautiful day. I thought that he agreed, but before I could get off the phone with my dad asking about the bikes, Will had called some guy about dove hunting and had reserved a dove hunt that evening. Not even that evening...like 3:30. It was currently 12:00. There was no way we could go bike riding now.

Communication error: Will thought I was joking about bike riding. I thought he was joking about hunting. Joke is on me.

When I realized that he wasn't joking and that we really were going dove hunting that afternoon, I needed some support. I immediately text Christin.  She is out in Abilene and would usually be my out at a time like this. Much like Brandon or Josh would be when I suggest a night at the ballet.

 

Her response:

So we did what any young professional couple in the city does on a day off, we went dove hunting. BUT FIRST! We must start the trip off right. I needed to return some pants to Gap. So, I traded my bike ride for a trip (a very quick trip) to the mall. But on the way back we somehow ended up at Academy because I "needed" camo to wear. Apparently, my pink siggie sing song shirt is too bright for the birds. I was thinking of myself as more of a beautifully large flower than a camoflauge mound of person. So I walked out of Academy with a camo pullover and pink earplugs for my delicate womanly ears.

But don't worry my friends. We sure did stop by Rudy's to get BBQ before we hit the road.


So we are driving, driving, driving. Past Fort Worth, Past Burleson....into Godly, Texas. Yes there is a Godly, Texas.


We meet some guy at a shell gas station and he takes us to his land. We saw 1 bird. Will shot 1 bird. We were there five hours.


I get really restless and fidgety when hunting, plus, I had to go to the bathroom and wasn't about to rough it. So I suggested we play a game of pass and play words with friends. We got two turns in and Will gave up.

Here Will is living out his hunting show. He was giving me a whisper play by play of what was going on.

A man and his dog.

The bird he killed.

 

 

Copper wanting to eat the bird he killed.

But don't you worry! We finished a good evening off with a good ole fashioned Captain D's dinner. A picture from my youth. There used to be one in Irving and we would frequent the establishment. There used to be coloring contests there all the time.

Our life in pictures

Life as of late:

We went to Abilene, the church of Christ mecca, for Lectureship or Summit or whatever they are calling it now. We stopped at a gas station in Eastland:

 

Yes, you may have noticed two cop cars as was pointed out to me via a follower on Instagram. We pulled into this gas station to switch drivers and use their facilities.   We switch drivers and because something always goes wrong when I get in the driver's seat. Something went wrong. I put it in reverse and this horrible sound was coming from my back tire when I would brake. Will got out, inspected it and called my dad. Then his resident church car guy. Then the manual. We decided it was a rock in the tire. But in this time behind us was an interesting situation occurring. Behind us was Barney Fife inspecting this guy's van. The inspectee was handcuffed and taken to the car. Then pulled out of the car. Then Barney Fife's buddy came and searched the van. Gave him the walk straight test and he failed miserably. Barney's second buddy showed up and now the suspect is handcuffed again and put into the front seat of squad car #2. But by then, we were leaving. Who knows what happened. 

Later that week, I did this: 

After I took that SAT for college graduates and began other things, like cleaning the house. One day I came home from working. All I wanted to lay on my wonderful couch and relax and this is what I found: 

But Wait..... Here is what wouldn't fit in this picture:

I had heard the toe clippings the night before as I play my nightly solitaire game and catch up on words with friends but did not expect to find them on the floor. Clippers and all. 

It really is the mundane things in life that make me laugh. 

For example: Last Sunday I was fed up with having too many condiments and frozen wild game in our fridge that I could never find anything. I was tired of constantly buying chicken stock when I knew I had just bought it, but I couldn't find it. So I decided to attack the kitchen. I went straight to the fridge and began pulling stuff out, checking expiration dates and throwing things away. I started in the fridge, then moved to the freezer. This is what I found! JACKPOT!

I went to grab it and this is what I found: 

Who would do such a thing?? Who eats all the thin mints and then puts the box back?

I moved on to the pantry in a sullen mood and threw away 3 trashbags full of expired condiments, cereals, bisquik that is as old as our marriage, and spices that saw their beginnings in Abilene. I put everything back in a very organized spot and I placed our categorized condiments in the door of the fridge. 

I live with Will Morris: 

Yes, you counted right. 

1 Stubbs BBQ

1 Salt Lick BBQ

1 Sweet Baby Rays BBQ (there were two but I combined)

2 bottles of Harolds (We had three but I combined two)

1 Jack Daniels BBQ

1 can of Perini's BBQ

If you add all of those together, yes. That equals 7 bottles of BBQ sauce. 6 different kinds. Who has that many bbq sauces?

Another Day, Another Story

Last week for a pep rally, the school dressed up in their best 1970's wear. Most students confused this decade with 1960's but we'll give them a little room to grow since everyone of these children were born in 1995 and above. This particular day I had this conversation with a student.

The students were discussing the 1970's fashions they had seen that day.
Student #1: I don't know what they wore in the 70's. That was along time ago.
Student #2: Yeah, I don't know. Kelsie, what did YOU wear in the 1970s?
Me: Uhh, really?
Student #2: (who I know pretty well...well enough for her to call me Kelsie) What?! I don't know when you were born!
Me: Uh, 1986. I'm not 40.

Do your math children. Do your math.

I didn't do it.

Once upon a time...yesterday. It was a lovely Sunday and Will and I decided to go to a movie. He had been wanting to see this movie that Watermark Church had done (how I dream of going to a church that makes legit movies). It is called "Seasons of Grey." It is based on the story of Joseph. It is a pretty good movie. I would suggest it. Better done than Fireproof I must say. Anyway the lead character is Brady Grey. He is played by someone. But whoever it is...well just continue to read. So this is the guy that plays the lead.

So there is this scene where the above male comes out of his work office in a nicely tailored suit, open button up shirt, hair cut short in a "just got out of bed, but I worked hard on my look" hair do, and GQ black rimmed glasses. At this moment there is a very audible, "MMMM" from someone in the audience. Will immediately turns to me and says, "Did you just do that?" How do I get blamed for that? So I immediately start to giggle. Because 1. Every female was thinking it, just one was brave enough to say it out loud and 2. I can't believe he is blaming me! We spend the next two scenes giggling and me trying to stop it and seriously say that it was not me that voice my opinion about the lead character's looks. So, thanks who ever did that in the auditorium. I am now being blamed for looking at other men on the movie screen.

You know Will, I never gave you a hard time when Tami Taylor was on TV. 

It is fall:

Deer, Guns, Football .... Musicals. Work. Lesson Plans.

Along with Football, you have homecomings. With homecomings you have my favorite thing ever, MUMS. The other day I had this preciousness of a conversation with one of my students.

Student (coming into my room): Do we have a dance for Homecoming? Can you believe SGP is like in two weeks. That is crazy.
Me: No, we do not have a dance. We are a church of Christ school which absolutely no dancing.
Student: Do we get mums? I finally figured out why they call mums, mums.
Me: Why?
Student: (in all seriousness) Because your mom makes them.
Me: (speechless and laughing - I couldn't hold it in. Forget considering the safety of the child's ego and all that nonsense they tell you in school) Uhhhhhhh....not exactly. Maybe try, its because the flower in the middle is a mum.
Student: Really? You're kidding. Ug, I'm never listening to so and so (whoever told her that) again!

Now I do not know many things but I do have an unusual love for mums. I will not lie when I say that I had ALL FOUR hanging on my wall until the day I got married. They only came down because my mom took them down and put them in a box. But have no fear...that box is in my office...at my house....the one I share with my husband. Come over and I'll pull the prized possessions out and show them to you. This being the case, I'm pretty sure that Texas High School Mums did not originate in England.

 

Nope, definitely from this God blessed State: 

Along with the fall also comes lots of hunting shows. Our typical evening goes about like this: 

Will turns on the TV. It is either on the ESPN channel or the SPORTSMAN channel. He flips back and forth (as he is doing right now as I type). I join him on the couch with something to do such as my phone, computer, book, craft, etc. He will eventually ask for his phone. I will hand it to him. He will go to the calendar app and look for dates. He will nonchalantly say, "What are we doing the....first weekend in October?" I will solemly reply, "You are going hunting." And he will giggle like a little girl cause I have caught him red handed and reply, "Not necessarily." I will reply. "Yes, you will. No matter how many or how few trips you have planned at the beginning of the season you will weasel your way into a few more and before you know it I'm a weekend hunting widow." He will say all while STILL giggling, "Nooooooooo. But IT HAS STARTED BABY!!! I LOVE HUNTING!" I just smile and nod.  Some times he follows this with grabbing his bow and taking a few practice shots or taking his guitar and strumming the strings as if to play a good ole hunting song.

Another type of conversation that fully explains our adult life: 

Finally the other day Will brought in his camo fleece blanket out of the garage that has been sitting there since we moved in...two years ago. We .... I ..... washed it and made it all clean again. This blanket it the blanket I made him for his birthday one year and the blanket I always used to wrap up in at his house in college because he's an eskimo and I'm something from the equator. He likes it 40 degrees, I prefer triple digits. We would hang out and watch whatever I wanted on TV. Good shows. Quality television. The recent conversation went like this: 

Will and I are on the couch...watching something of his choice.
We are both under the blanket now because we are married and can sit close together....on the same cushion of the couch.

Me: Awe, I'm so glad that we got this blanket out. It's like college again. 

Will: Me too. I like it.  (I don't know if he actually said that, but for reinforcement of how important the quilt is and our time together....on the couch....is I will add it)

Me: (in a happy and sweet tone) It's like college again. We are sitting here on the couch, with this blanket........except we are not paying attention to each other. I'm on my phone playing solitaire and you have control of the remote.

Welcome to marriage. But I do love the guy.

On another note, I shared my idea of the "Youth Minister's Wife Intern" to a preacher friend of mine. He and his wife thought it was pure money. I'm pitching it to ACU next week. You are welcome all wives of ministers.