Rookie Morris

So I'm pinteresting the other day and I came across this quote. I often search by the humor tab, quote tab or recently the kid tab. Gosh, I'm one of those. Shoot. I came across this picture:

Well ain't that the truth. Shoot again. I feel selfish. Hit me right in the heartburned heart please. So I saved it to my phone so that when I'm sitting at my desk at work stuffing my face with crackers and water no matter how sick I feel and disgusted at the thought of all food, looking in the mirror as I brush my teeth counting the growing number of pimples (oh sweet baby jesus the PIMPLES....I seriously look like a 16 year old boy) or throwing out cute clothes daily because they decided not to fit, or forfeiting the pizza at Pie Five because it will inevitably send shooting pains up my center that remind me I have been cursed with heartburn, I need to remember there is a little miracle in there just playing away. Well...Dang. 

We saw it moving Wednesday at the sonogram. It waved at me. Ok, probably not but I like to think it did. The doctor got real picture happy and sent us home with like 8 sonogram pictures. Our families are pretty stoked. Oh you want to know how we told our parents? Of course I'll tell you. AND show you pictures! I know, you've been waiting your whole life for this moment. 

Wellllll....my dad is a fireman. That's ironically important. We took the little pee on a stick test and found out we were pregnant on September 9th. Will has a hard time keeping a secret and wanted to shout it to the world. I was just fine keeping it to ourselves for the next few days. The only problem was I couldn't talk to my parents or I would spill the beans! My silence was noticed and I knew that if I waited any longer my mom would be asking questions. Soooo, on September 11th, my dad was working at the station. We couldn't wait. Soooo, at church we made crafts to give to the first responders in honor of 9/11 so I texted my dad that we had some crafts could we come deliver them to the station around 8:30. "Sure" So then I called my mom. No answer and then texted and then called again. There has to be two parents there to tell the parents that you are going to be parents!! I persuaded my mom to meet me leave her friend's house and meet me at the station. I go to target and find something cute to get them to say "You are grandparents!" Nothing. So I finally decide I will get a white onesie and draw the station 7 (where my dad works) logo and motto on the front. Their motto is "Fully Involved." I know these things just happen! So I put Fully Involved, May 2014 and on the back wrote Rookie Morris. Cute. Now how do I give them this monumental gift. 

We go in my dad's office and Will shuts the door. They cut right to the chase and ask for the crafts. I, being of such social grace, practically just throw the onesie at them. They are quite confused as was I with my awkwardness in delivering this news. I mean this is a big deal and I do not do well with sharing momentous occasions or sharing life changing feelings with people. They were thrown off asking if it was socks? And then BOOM! Nope its a baby! WHAT?!?! Hugs, tears, suprised faces and hand shakes all around. My dad's face was the best. He was pretty excited, he went and showed the outfit off to all of his guys. It was a pretty good thing on such a crummy day in America! 

So one parent set down the next three to go. We called the out of town family and they screamed and cried and immediately made plans for Christmas gifts and birthdays! 

Will told alot of people and I told Christin. Then it was on to extended family. A few weeks later and a couple of dr appointments later just to make sure the little precious booger was still in there we decided it was a good time to tell close friends at church and then make a big announcement at the trunk or treat at halloween through our costume choice. Here's a story for the books....

So, we meet an older couple (who we consider like our church parents and mentors) at Chilis to tell them the news. Will splurts it out and we hug and cheer. Well the waitress comes by....let me stop and preface something...I am ironically a private person. Much more private than Will. I could go through this whole pregnancy and not care to tell a soul. I'm just not like that. WELLLLL AT CHILIS this happened..... The waitress comes by and Hank says that we are celebrating some fantastic news! 

Hank: They are going to have a baby! 

Waitress: That is awesome! Would you mind if I told my manager and she came a took a picture of your table? We love to show off times when we play and important part in people's lives. We take a picture and write your story down. We send it off to corporate and you will be in our monthly newsletter.

Uh come again. 

My college room mates on my group text don't even know and every Chili's employee is going to know this news? Uh what? 

So, they take our picture and write our names down. So if you work at Chilis look for my non make uped sick pregnant face in the monthly newsletter! 

I don't have a nice copy of the picture but I do have this one from Trunk or Treat! 

Cat is out of the bag. 

Took people a while but we were the talk of the trunk or treat. 

Well this is embarassing...

It has been so long the blogger website change its format and totally confused me. I will not admit to the amount of time I spent trying to figure out how to write a post.

Lately I have had the two faithful readers ask where the blog went. Well honestly all the stories I could think to tell were about my students. Not so professional. And kids these days know how to snoop so well they would find me in a minute and law suit after law suit I'd be out of a job. I just can't handle that. I may get paid pennies but those pennies help pay off the medical bills from my pill swallowing escapade that landed me in the ER.

Wait what? yes. On the fateful afternoon of August 3rd, a Saturday, I decided that I should get serious with my vitamin taking. If I was going to hopefully sometime in the near future (apparently very near future) going to be producing a healthy baby, I better buckle down and follow the doctor's orders of taking pre-natal vitamins. I had a bottle that I carted around with me (seriously for a month building up confidence) of vitamins that should have been labeled "horse pills" cause that is exactly what they were. Like an inch long and half an inch wide. I decided on August 3rd at 4:00 that I would finally choke (hahah foreshadow) one down. We were headed to the end of summer youth party and were about to leave the house. So I got a glass of water and pulled out a pill. The size once again astounded me. @#$%#&^&#$%^#$%^ how am I going to get this down?

Deviation: I have always had trouble swallowing pills. I took liquid or chewable medicines until I was probably 17 years old. It just has never ever been a skill of mine. Back to August 3rd at 4:00.

So I decide to cut the pill in half. The first half went down with a little fight but in the end I won and it went down my esophagus to be dissolved in my stomach. Ok, I can do this one more time! In goes the second half. However, some where between my lips and my esophagus it ended up directing itself into the wrong tube. I immediately begin to choke. My first thought was, "I just conquered my fear of flying half way around the world... alone.... to London.... and I'm going to die choking on a pre-natal vitamin!" My second thought was, "I need to call my dad." My third thought, after thinking about the conversation I would have to have with my HUSBAND about why for the second millionth time I've called my dad for help instead of him in an emergency or not so emergency, I thought, "Oh my, I need to go to the bathroom where Will is in case I keel over." So that's what I did. I briskly walked into the bathroom and there begin to wheeze. Seriously something is in my wind pipe!! I'm crying, coughing, wheezing, screaming, crying, wheezing, and some more screaming. Will jumps out of the shower to try to calm me down. HA ain't happening.

So Will coaches me through my wheezing. "Calm down" "It probably just scratched your throat." "Breathe" ME: I CAN'T!!! "Drink some warm water." The wheezing subsides and then the coughing starts. Then it HURTS! I make it through the party drinking water and coughing. I some what slept that night but coughed up pieces of the vitamin all night.

Let's just stop for a moment and think about what that tasted like.

And it is Sunday morning. I slowly get up, shower, get ready for church and make my way there. I sit at the back and cough my lungs up through all of service. It hurts so bad. Like no other pain I have ever felt before. I would say right on up there when I dislocated and broke my elbow doing a double back off the beam... layout on the floor... cartwheel in high school. Every time I coughed or breathed a shooting pain went up my center core. Soooo lets fast forward to 5:00 that evening after crying all day from pain and lack of oxygen. Will was taking a nap so I took the opportunity to call my dad. I told him of my symptoms of light headiness, pain, can't breathe, heart pounding. He replies the dreaded, "Well you may want to go to the ER." And the response of a poor person, "Can I just go to care now? The deductible is lower." HA. So I wake Will up and tell him in his half sleep that I am going to Care Now.

If you EVER want to be immediately seen at Care Now, "I can't breathe." are the key words to say. Immediately there were nurses surrounding me taking my oxygen which was a whopping 83, Thank you! "TRIAGE" is yelled in the hustle and bustle. Uh no. I watch ER and Grey's I know what Triage is and it is not good when yelled not at a hospital. I am ushered to the other side of Care Now that is a very small hospital type set up next to a small child getting stitches. Over a course of breathing treatments, xray and a steroid shot in the bum that made me almost pass out twice the PA came in and delivered this news....to a young person....in a room....by her self..."We don't really know what is going on with your lungs. There is spot on your xray and we are not sure what it is. So we are going to need to send you to the ER and because your oxygen levels are so low it has to be by ambulance." AND THEN WALKS OUT! The bottom falls out and the tears start flowing. My anxious mind starts imagining the worst. I immediately begin to catastrophisizing (how do you even spell that?) my future. I know the ambulance thing is a lie so I once again call my dad. He says no they are just saying that and that they will meet me at the ER in Irving. I call Will. No answer. I text him. No reply. I call him again and say tell him the news. After this freak out and my dad handing the phone to my mom who calms me down the real Dr comes in to better explain the situation. The pill is stuck in my lung. Will comes to pick me up and we make it to Irving in like 12 minutes and check in to the ER.

So here we are, in the ER. Stu the nurse who is probably my age asks whats wrong. I tell him. He laughs. This is the beginning of what will be a pattern for the remainder of the night. I have become the joke of the ER. Happy Sunday night Irving ER. Glad I could bring some entertainment. We giggle about how he has seen children....CHILDREN under the age of 6 normally come in with cheerios, coins, toys, even a guy with a hot dog stuck in his THROAT...not Wind pipe. But never someone aspirating a pill into their lungs at such an advanced age.

We giggle.

Well tonight's your lucky night buddy. Glad I could be of service.

The ER doctor and her scribe come in.
"What's going on."
"Well I swallowed a pill and it is in my lung."
Dr. trying to hold back the laughter "uh you did what?"
"Yeah I swallowed a pill and it is in my lung."
laughter is no longer held

We giggle.

I am wheeled to get a CT. The CT tech...
"What's going on."
"Well I swallowed a pill and it is in my lung."
Tech trying to hold back the laughter "uh you did what?"
"Yeah I swallowed a pill and it is in my lung."
laughter is no longer held
"Well its lucky you are here then."

We giggle.

The CT comes back and the Dr asks if we want to see it. Uh yes! So my dad, Will and I all go down to the nurses station and view the CT. All the other nurses and doctors are laughing.

"Am I the joke of the ER? I know you people of have codes for these things. Am I a code?"

We giggle.

The CT was pretty cool....and the pill was definitely in my lung. Just resting at the bottom. Hanging out. Hurting so bad!

So by this time, Will and my parents are in the room hanging out and the procedure nurse comes in. My mom and dad say that they will leave for a little bit and let them do what they need to do. The nurse stops my mom and says, "Hang on. I may need you to stay for a little bit to sign some papers." My mom looks at her and straight faced says, "I think she can sign her own papers, she is 26." I pipe in, "I know I'm in here for what is normally a pediatric procedure for three year olds and pennies but I am of legal age. This is my husband."

We giggle.

Lots of other comments were said through out the course of the evening that would have been classic lines in a comedic movie about unfortunate events. But nothing will compare to what happened after the procedure.

While I was off in neverland dream town getting a pill removed from my lung by the claw the Dr was asking Will if anything like this had ever happened before and how this thing happened. Was she bumped into, did she laugh while swallowing. Nope Doc, just swallowing. Swallowing like she has done every day of her life.

After I woke up and the pain was gone and I could finally breathe without wanting to punch some one the lung dr came in to give us the run down. This is the conversation.

Dr: "We got the pill. You have a little bit of scar tissue from the iron in the pill but nothing bad. That was a huge pill. How'd you get that in there? I'm sending you home with a steriod to help with inflammation and an antibiotic..."

Me: "Uh you do realize what just happened here? Could I get that in liquid form."

Dr: laughing "Oh yeah, haha I can get that in a liquid for you. Ok well we will give you another breathing treatment and antibiotic and you will be on your way."

It's not everyday he gets to write a prescription for a liquid form of antibiotic to a 26 year old. I will say, just for the record, there is nothing more humbling than taking your antibiotic OUT OF A SYRINGE like a toddler in front of your high school musical cast. Nothing more humbling. Except telling them you landed in the ER by swallowing a pill....which I did not tell them.

So we wrapped up the evening and were sent on our way but not before the nurse, Stu and I have a little chat.

Me: "I seriously am going to be the dinner table talk for all of these drs aren't I. I have friends that are nurses and dr.s. I know what you people tell your friends."

Stu: "Yeah, you might want to keep this one to yourself."

And that was the night I became the dinner talk of the Irving Baylor ER doctor and nurses.

The next week I went back to the lung dr for a check up and his quote of the visit was, " I'm not so worried about your lungs as I am the fact that you can't swallow a pill." Me to my friend, Me too.

Never a dull moment with the two of us.

That being said...all of that led up to this blessing which is a whole other adventure for another time and place...

preacher vs. coach

I have recently inherited the job description and title of a "preacher's wife." It is a whole new life in the lime light of leading the salvation of others. I have been forced to do things like attend church regularly, be on time for church, attend all funerals, wedding, birthday parties, anniversary parties, showers, etc. that a good woman attends and learn to buy items  cook items that may have to be served at a moments notice at a potluck. The other day Will and I had a discussion in the car. "What would you rather be...a preacher's wife or a coach's wife?" I promptly with out hesitations declared "a coach's wife." Then we began to compare the two jobs. I can only speak from fact on the side of the preacher's wife and from fantasy through Tammy Taylor on Friday Night Lights.

VS.

1. A coach's wife can wear fun bedazzled jerseys, big jewelry, heels, designer jeans and her newly highlighted and done up layered hairdo at the game. A preacher's wife must wear a sensibly modest outfit, hose and a hat to church on Sunday. 

2. A coach's wife can have out door bbq's for the team at her house. A preacher's wife must make pea salad and a jello mold for the pot luck on Sunday. 

3. For a coach's wife, Friday is game day, followed by a late night ice cream run with your kids and family friends and Sunday is family sleep in day. For a preacher's wife, Friday is going to the football games with church people to see the church kiddos play the game and Sunday is game day....all day. With no ice cream. 

4. A similarity: Saturday is film day for coach. Saturday is sermon working day for preacher. . 

5. A coach's wife can talk to friends while her husband is on the field. A preacher's wife can't talk to her friends while her husband is on the field. Texting is allowed only for the skilled. 

6. A coach's wife must be familiar with the game of football. A preacher's wife must recite scriptures in daily conversation. 

7. A coach's wife: Two words...HOMECOMING MUMS!!! A preacher's wife: easter corsages. 

8. A coach's wife needs to know all the plays in the book. A preacher's wife: all the recipes in the church cookbook. 

9. Half time verses no half time.

10. Both must be prepared to feed the five thousand with only sandwich meat and doritos on a moment's notice. 

11. Both can turn the water into wine koolaid. 

12. A coach's wife gets a mom suburban with the cool high school paw on the back. A preacher's wife gets a mini van with the christian fish on the back. 

13. A coach's wife has to give up Thanksgiving. A preacher's wife, Christmas and Easter. Sometimes New Years Eve. 

14. Both: The super bowl is a mandatory party in which you must cook for and/or host. 

15. A coach's wife needs to go to booster meetings. A preacher's wife: all baby and wedding showers, if you do not host them your self. 

16. A coach's wife can dress up her kids in cute football player and cheerleader outfits to take them to the games. If a preacher's wife dressed her children up in bible times costumes, she may be looked down upon for embarassing her children. Unless it is VBS in which the entire family will be sporting the sheet and rope outfit for an entire week during the summer. 

Moments

Why you no blog?
Well, to be frank, the school tech men figured me out I guess and the post page on my blog is blocked on the school network. And well, I'm too lazy at home. But strange things must have happened to you in the past month right? oh yes. Our lives have not been without blog worthy moments.

Moment 1: I filmed a wedding. I showed up in the same color and near style dress as the bridesmaids. awkward.

Moment 2: I am going to grad school this summer, it took me three starts and 7 days to read 197 pages of introduction to Othello. But good gracious I can tell you everything there is to know about the racial implications of Othello. Will is impressed with my new knowledge. Whatever.

Moment 3: This conversation happened over text. I nerded my self out thinking he knew who Ms. Hannigan was. He did not.

Moment 4: My alllll time favorite store is closing. Blessed Boutique on Grapevine Main. It was a sad day and I had a moment of silence for it. Will suggested maybe we buy the store. I asked him how he would answer when people asked what he did for a living. "Oh well... I own a women's boutique..." "oh, really..."

Moment 5: Unlike last year, I have had a summer. I have done such an excellent job at being a stay at home wife that Will considered getting a higher paying job so that I could continue this year round!

Moment 6: Will has been spending lots of time with his child, Copper. One evening a couple of my friends were over having dinner. Will decided to give us some girl time and hang out in the front yard with Copper. About 10 minutes later, Christin gets a text that says, "Tell Kelsie to come look at Copper" Seriously if it is like this every time the dog does something cute worthy it is going to be rediculous when we have a child. I go to the window and saw this. The dog and its' master just having some quality time together.

Moment 7: My brother graduated from UNT! Pretty exciting! Oh and the girl sitting in front of us at graduation definitely had a very fresh, and by fresh like late to graduation because she just came from the tattoo parlor fresh, tattoo on her back. I failed to get documentation. I apologize.

Moment 8: I stole Will away from his summer duties with the youth group for a week and my parents took us and my brother to Sanibel Island, Florida and it was amazing!!!! They have multiple tides each day. One day when we were there they had the lowest tide they had ever had. We got to walk the beach that evening and saw hundreds and thousands of beached sea life.

Tanner, Dad and Mom on the beach one evening. I missed the orange memo. 

 It was so cool! One day we rented bikes and biked around the island and another day we took a very long boat ride to Key West. It was pretty neat. Key West if full of history and for the Dunn family, vacations are for learning! Will disagrees. Ha.

Here we are at the southern most point of the USA.

And here are Will's thoughts on the key lime pie in Key West: 

It was DE-Licious! I would eat it again for sure. 

My favorite part of Key West, Will did not opt for the tour, my mom, tanner and I went to Earnest Hemmingway's house. We had a tour guide from Boston who was very informative of all information Hemmingway related. Here is his house. It was pretty cool inside. Very lush and beautiful. And lots of cats. I think there were like 54? All with literary and famous names. 

And we finished up with Father's day. Will's dad and his wife came down for weekend at pequeno hotel de Morris. They treated us to Reata, which was great and they got to hear Will preach!

Here we are at the stockyards

And here we are at Reata, the best place in the world. Excuse the sweaty look. I'm pretty sure it was either 100 degrees in that restaurant or I had an extreme hot flash a few moments before the picture. Nothing more classy that a girl dripping sweat down her brow at a very nice restaurant. 

Raising Godly Children

Sunday. This Sunday. The day I actually woke up and pulled my self out of bed for the early service at 9:00. I walk in and find Will running around doing his ministerial duties. We walk in to church together, way after it has started, just in time for the sermon.

We stand at the back of the auditorium scanning a good place to sit that is both out of the way, easy to exit but also near the teens. We spot one and our path to our seats is inturrupted by one of our students handing us a bulletin, pointed to the sermon title and said, "Why don't ya'll work on that for me." I look down and the the sermon is:

Raising Godly Children. 

Go sit down dude.


Will finds two seats near the teens and sits down. I sit across the aisle to avoid any touching that may lead me to raising Godly children. But this action made a few women (the church secretary) ask me if we were mad at each other and/or separated. So to not create rumors I sat over next to my husband. The sermon started without delay and immediately I felt the secretary's eyes point toward me, then the couple to the back of us and then all the kids down the row. I lean over to Will and whisper in my quiet "during sermon voice" "I feel like all the eyes in this auditorium are looking...no glaring at me." "Whatever." Will said and as I look up there are two eyes that belong to the worship minister's wife staring straight into mine.

If she was a baby, that would have been the look. So I gave her this one back. 

......

Then I gave this look to my self...

On another note, Will's dad got married a couple of weekends ago, here's a picky from the evening. Bad pose but cool picture. The photographer was kind of in a hurry so we only got one pose. He took three pics and every time I kept blinking my eyes. I tried to tell him but he was like, "oh its fine." And then it turned out like this....I look drunk. We both do. We were not. Just for the record. Just bad blink timing...three tries in a row. 

Diary of Anne Frank

First, I must start with something profound that Will said last night while watching TV.

Will: Hmmm, that is interesting.
Me: What?
Will: I'm watching a documentary on Nazi Scrapbooks....you know me and Helen Keller.

(a long pause)
(weird look and big laugh from me)

Will: I mean Anne Frank.
Me: I'm going to write that down so that I do not forget that.

In other news: 

Will has been gone to Honduras all week so I got to dog sit, shop, read and sleep at my parent's house. It was a nice Spring Break and ended too soon.

Sweet Maddie, Maggie and Will welcoming home their daddies.

Me and Will. He didn't have any kids that ran to
hug him when he came out of the gate, so I did. 

I got to do plenty of facebook stalking, 1. because it was my main source of information for what Will was doing and 2. I didn't have anything else to do. While facebooking, I found this group that my friends and I created on facebook our freshman year of college. It was in honor of a sweet old woman who worked in the Bean at ACU. It was called "Ruuuth!!" Apparently, it still exists on facebook and with this new timeline thing the page looks a little different. The admin's pictures are on the top of the page. This is what I found: 

Look, how sweet. All the girls and their significant other....then there is me. With a pig. REALLY??!?

Then I go to look at the members. There are only four. HA. Just the four of us. I promise there were more members 7 years ago.  

Our life in bullet points

Cause that is all the time and energy I have:

• Will and I have been co-habitating as college room mates these past couple of months. We are so busy, it is to the point that we have had people question our relationship. 
• We are doing just fine. He's even taking me on a date tonight...for the first time in...uh since the last post. 
• Yesterday I had a mid-twenties moment. Will had a small child sitting on his lap during worship last night at church and I could just FEEL the "when is she doing to have a kid" tension in the room. 
• The answer to that is............not any time soon. 
• I found a bird, dead, on my stoop. Apparently he ran into the glass door. And I took a picture. I was thinking about putting duct tape around its head like Dumb and Dumber but decided the germs living on a dead bird would send my anxiety over the edge. 

• Play number 2 of the year is almost done. So Will can reclaim his shoes and other house hold items I gather for props. 
• Play number 2 of the year is almost done so that means I have to start doing laundry and cleaning the house. 
• This conversation actually happened at our house last night: 
• We frequently joke about Will's "First Christmas as a Married Couple" gift to me. A little back ground information. The first year we were married he was a full time minister, I was a full and a half time 1st grade teacher at an awful school with a few tyrants as children, we bought a house, his parents were divorcing, we bought two new cars, oh and we were having senior high huddles at our house every Thursday night. To say the least, that first year was tough. I worked at a title one school. If you have ever been a first year teacher in a bad title one school, you know that there are ZERO resources. In order to have books for my kids to read, I had to make my own books from a website. This meant hours and hours of printing, folding, stapling, etc.  Now back to Christmas. I'm a big theme giver when it comes to gifts. I go out and buy Will some great coffee mugs, coffee, syrups and other stuff like that because he is always saying he wants to start drinking coffee.....btw, i think the coffee is still sitting in the pantry. But I digress. Back to Christmas. We sit down to open gifts. I'm so excited. Its a big thing! You, know! 1st present as a married couple! What is he going to get me? Something fun? Romantic? Jewelry? I open up the gift and it is........... an electric stapler. 

"Aww...oh." I reply. Thanks? It really was a thoughtful gift but a hillarious story. So months and months after that we have joked about the stapler. Last night it came up in conversation and he said, "I was really being very sincere when I bought that gift.  I knew it would help you and make your life less stressed." And then the line of the day was 

"I guess it speaks about the crap that first year was

 when your husband buys you an electric stapler because 

it will improve your quality of life."